How to can make sure Guests do NOT come back

Subtitle: how to turn guests in to one-time visitors

In our church we call new people guests not visitors.  To understand the difference, think of your home. A visitor shows up unexpectedly, uninvited and doesn’t stay usually.  A guest you’ve invited, you expected them, you’re glad to see them and you want them to stay.  You want guests to enjoy themselves and feel welcome.

We prepare at House of Praise for guests.  We’re glad they came, we’ve invited them and we want them to feel so welcomed that they want to join the family.

If you want visitors to just visit and leave, here’s what you do as a church member:

  1. Don’t talk to them.  (Remember it’s US and THEM) Look at them awkwardly and quickly walk away. Only talk to people you already know and most importantly, don’t welcome them.
  2. If you see someone who hasn’t been to church in a while (A Creaster- Christmas and Easter only) point that out to make them feel awkward.  Say “Wow, haven’t seen you for a while.” Or even better, “We’d like to see you on more than Easter and Christmas.”
  3. You wouldn’t think this matters but it does.  Make sure we all dress in suits and expensive clothes so guests feel under dressed.
  4. Let guests find their own way around. (Think “It’s not my job.”)  If they do dare to ask where something is, just point in the general direction and say, “that way.” Or something so complicated “Louis & Clark couldn’t find it such as,  “Our kid’s ministry is out those back doors, to the left, then another left turn, down a hallway, then turn right, go outside into the other building.”
  5. Mistreat their kids.  Yell at the guest’s kids for something kids normally do like running or taking a 2nd cookie.  If you’re volunteering make check in a long and painful process. Help make the kid’s areas dirty, cluttered, & poorly with extras from the Walking Dead at the door. If a baby cries in maim service, immediately kick the family out of the sanctuary.  They won’t be back!
  6. Keep tension in the air.  Argue or speak rudely to someone in front of the guest. They won’t know it’s your friend you’ve been feuding with all week.  They’ll think we all treat everyone like that.
  7. Above all, Don’t invite guests back.  Don’t speak to them as they leave and don’t follow up on them later in the week to see what they thought

If you will do these simple steps it will keep your church from being filled with new people.  More people will give up on church so their lives won’t improve and yes more people will probably also give up on God and go to hell BUT you can keep your church a comfortable size where you know everyone.

Of course, if that’s not important to you…in our church we treat new people like honored guests.  We include them in conversations,  walk them to where they go, make sure their kids love it, let them know there are NoPerfectPeopleHERE, tell them we are glad they are here and invite them back.  If they’re our friends we may even call them next week to see how they’re doing. Why? Because we genuinely care about them improving their lives and their eternity.

Whose Smile Are You Looking For?

In a recent tender moment with my youngest daughter Alayna, I looked at her and said, “You make me smile.” “Why Dad?” she inquired curiously.

“Well, I always smile when I see you just because I love you but what I mean right now is because you do nice things for Daddy. That shows me your heart.”

“Like what Dad?” she quickly retorted. “Well… like bring me my shoes or pick up my plate, when I don’t even ask.” She smiled and went about her day. Our conversation made me think of how we should be serving simply for our Father’s smile. Not rewards on this earth or in heaven, not for recognition from people, certainly not for position or power, but simply the make the Father smile.

Apostle Paul wrote to the church in Galatia, he said, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” – Galatians 1:19

Paul had decided whose smile he wanted. He was ‘performing’ for an audience of one.

That night after dinner Alayna grabbed my dirty dish and brought it to the dishwasher. No one else noticed, but me. Across the dinner room I mouthed “thank you” and gave her a big smile. I believe her smile back to me was bigger.

#makeGodsmile

Dominos: Little Thing Can Have A Big Impact

As I prepare for sermon next week called Dominos: Cause and Effect I am reminded of the Butterfly Effect (How a seemingly insignificant action can have a great effect such as a butterfly flapping its wings in the Amazon may cause a hurricane in the Pacific.)

Tonight Monday August 1st, 2011 we are hosting an event called Stop the Traffic Freedom Drive. Can a little thing like signing a car make any difference in the huge, world-wide issue of Human Trafficking?  I mean there are 27 billion slaves in the world today…more than any other time in history.  It’s a multi-billion dollar industry and the fastest growing criminal enterprise.  Can my signature make any difference?

It can when it’s on a driving petition headed for Washington, DC to ask for stronger law to protect the victims of Human Trafficking.  It can when it raises awareness of how often this issue happens right in the U.S.  I know one thing, doing nothing will have an effect.  The slavery of children for deviant, sexual bondage will continue to grow.

Doing nothing, is like a butterfly wing causing a world-wide storm of injustice.

Sign the car, 7:30pm tonight.  House of Praise, 1688 Route 9, Castleton, NY 12033

House of Praise webTV

Well it’s finally here.  The House of Praise will begin broadcasting our service LIVE tomorrow at 10:00am.  (Feb. 14, 2010) Why are we doing this?  So we can feel important?  No.

We use any means we can to get the teachings of Jesus Christ to people.  We use creative means to portray illustrated sermons, everything from cars on stage to the pastor dressing up like Mr. Rogers and singing the theme song.  We hand out notes each service to allow people to review the teaching later at home or share it with a friend.  We record the sermons and make them available on CD or in a podcast.  Now we’re actually broadcasting the service free on the web. (www.houseofpraise.cc)  Web broadcast is just a natural step in sharing God’s word anyway we can.

While there is something special about the dynamic that happens when we gather together (Hebrews 10:24-25), it is our hope that when someone is home sick, or snowed in they will still be able to participate in worship and hear the teaching on the webcast.  One of the great things about this is we can all tell our friends that might be a little apprehensive about coming to church, “Check the service out on-line before you come in person.  Then you’ll know what to expect.” Wow ain’t technology grand? lol

Oh, by the way, if you miss the live broadcast or 10am is just too early.  The last 10 services will be archived, watch them when you have time.

It is our prayer that many people who aren’t ready to attend a church or who simply miss a service for whatever reason will be blessed by this new resource.

Who is my neighbor?

The Bible has a lot to say about neighbors.  In the Ten Commandments alone we are told:  not testify falsely against your neighbor;  not covet your neighbor’s house; not covet your neighbor’s wife; or their maid or pool boy; or their mode of transportation; or anything else that belongs to your neighbor. (Exodus 20:16-17)

Jesus said, loving your neighbor as much as you love yourself is as important as loving God and the summation of the whole Old Testament law! (Matthew 22:35-40)

What does that mean to us today?  It means that we need to understand how to treat our neighbors right if we want to be right with God.

So, with this being such an important concept in scripture and the teachings of Jesus Himself, it seems reasonable that someone would ask, “Who is my neighbor?”  A Pharisee (a teacher of the Jewish law) asked that question in Luke 10:25-37.  Jesus responded with a story that we call the Good Samaritan.

A Jewish man was beaten and left for dead on the side of the road.  A priest walks buy and does nothing.  A church Deacon (Levite) looks at him but doesn’t help.  Finally a despised Samaritan stops and helps the Jewish man.

The Jews truly despised the half-breed Samaritans, they were unclean to them.  Damned by birth.  It would be like a 1960s African American man stopping to help a Klu Klux Klan man and the Pharisee knew this bigotry.  Jesus asked him a question:

Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?”

The Pharisee couldn’t help but replied, “The one who showed him mercy.” Then Jesus responded, “Yes, now go and do the same.”

His command to us today is the same. Be like the Good Samaritan.  If you are in a position to help someone, do it.  God will put people in your path, maybe even people you don’t relate to, maybe even people you have a prejudice towards…be Jesus to them.

The Call from Heaven

The words of the familiar, old Christmas Carole ring out to us.

O Come all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem
Come and behold Him, born the King of Angels

There is a call from heaven to behold the King. In Luke chapter to we see the story that inspired this song.  The shepherds working in the field had their lives interrupted by and unusual sight, an angel!

I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.

The Messiah’s been born.  He’s right in Bethlehem!  Go see Him!  In verse 15 we see the first response:

When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

Let’s go to the house where the Lord dwells and see what the Lord has done and what He has told us about.

Our response is the same today.

1. Go to Church.

First, we must go and see what the Lord has done and said in His house.  Christmas is the best time to go to church.  If you’re a believer, get there!  Go somewhere.  Next the shepherds had a reaction after seeing the Savior in verses 16-18.

They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger. After seeing Him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child. All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished.

2. Tell Everyone What You Have Seen and Heard.

After seeing Him, they went and told everyone what had happened and what was said.  If we have seen the Lord, we must do the same. Look at verse 20.

The shepherds went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. It was just as the angel had told them.

3. Return to Where You Came From.

The shepherds went back to their fields and their flocks.  They went back to work, school, family and friends.  Your “field” is where God has planted you for your everyday life.  After you’ve met Jesus, go back to your field and introduce other to Him.

Don’t come to church alone this Christmas.  Bring a friend, classmate, relative, neighbor or coworker.

Blind Eyes & Stuffy Noses

When we first walked into our church building as the new pastors we remembered thinking how terribly cold and unfriendly the facilities were.  Not the people, the building.  The colors were very cold, the floor in the lobby a dull, industrial, gray tile. The sanctuary had a basketball court on the carpet.  That was weird but not as bad as the huge stains that greeted you as entered. All of that paled in comparison to the children’s wing…

The threadbare and overly worn carpet was held down by duct tape on all the seems.  The nursery smelled horribly, a strong mildew smell and a slight vomit smell.  A single tear slowly crawled down my wife’s face as she shuddered, “I can’t put my babies in here.  I won’t.” She uttered firmly.  I assured her we’d take care of it.  First thing I did was rip up the nursery carpet and put down rubber squares.

My thought was this, “How can they have let the place run down so badly?”  Don’t they see the torn baseboards, the stains in the carpet?  Don’t they smell the nursery?  Time had caused eyes to become blind and noses to become stuffy.  It is a a scientific fact that a person looking at a crack of broken piece of a building long enough will no longer notice it.  If you’ve ever sold a house you know it’s true.  You didn’t realize how dingy the walls were until you painted them to sell. I encourage you church leaders to walk through the church with a new person with a critical eye.

Today we have new carpet in the sanctuary & kids wing, warmer colors, and clean fresh smells but as a pastor who has been here almost 5 years, I’m starting to not notice the broken door handle, the smell of the mop room, the chipped paint here and there.  We bring in secret shoppers to check us out and report.  People I know will be honest.  (If you’d like a secret shopper to check out your building or church service email: pastorlon@houseofpraise.cc)

Have you as a believer gotten a stuffy nose to the sin in your life that has been there for years or no longer notice the cracks in your relationships?  We all need a good walk through with a friend to see what needs to be fixed.  Don’t wait until someone smells the mildew in your life.

Conquering Monday Morning Blues

You grab your favorite cup of coffee, sigh deeply and go to work. It’s not that you hate your job, well sometimes, but there so many other things you would rather be doing.  So many other people you would rather spend your time with.  You know you work for a paycheck but you wish that could be a little better too.  The week seems so long.  How can I conquer these Monday morning blues?

Maybe you’re a student and you can’t bring coffee to school.  You don’t fit in with the kids in your classes.  There’s that one teacher that seems to have it in for you.  I can’t believe the weekend went so fast.  How could I forget that assignment? Ugh.  How can I conquer these Monday morning blues?

Maybe you’re a stay at home mom with small kids, or a retired senior facing another day of cleaning the house and isolation. Sunday was great but now what? How can I conquer these Monday morning blues?

It’s simple really.  Change your perspective. Worker, it’s not about the paycheck, sure it helps but that’s not why you are there.  Student you’re not in school just because it’s a state law or just because you need an education.  Mom or retiree, you can still make a difference.  You have all entered the mission field. [Insert Twilight Zone music here.]

See if we really believe that God orders our steps.  If we really believe that He knew us before we were born then He placed us where we are today.  It’s not meaningless it’s a mission.  So to beat the Monday morning blues, take all teaching you received Sunday, all the Spirit of God you were filled with, all the joy you received, all the encouragement and love the church members gave you and give it away TODAY!

Mission trips don’t just happen in Africa. They happen every Monday. God has strategically placed you in your job, school or neighborhood.  Meet the day with expectation for God to do miracles today.  Expect God to provide you with an opportunity to move someone a little closer to Christ TODAY.  You are a missionary on assignment to Connect Others to God & Church today.

Will They Come Back? Part 1

Is our church one that guess will want to come back to? That is the questions every church leader must answer.  If they enjoy the music and the teaching is understandable and they are able to apply it to their lives they may decide to give the church a second look but as important as the music and teaching are, it’s not enough to cause people to stay as part of the fellowship.

Before we look at what will cause people to stay let’s look at some things that drive interested guests away…

1. Having social networks that aren’t open to outsiders.  Guests notice if there are lunches, picnics, bible studies & groups that they aren’t invited to.  This is especially difficult if there are large families or groups of relatives in the church because it is natural to gather together with relatives and not realized it may perceived as a closed church function.

2. Feeling like their help isn’t needed. When a person wants to be a part of the church by serving and they aren’t allowed to there’s a rejection or feeling that they don’t belong.   Beware of controlling people within your church that may be well meaning but would rather do the work themselves than make room for others to help.  Also make sure you have good follow up in place for people to be plugged in quickly when they do volunteer.

3. Overcrowding. If over 80% of your chairs are full people will not come back. Rule of thumb, if 70% of you seats are occupied then get out more chairs or add another service.  Same principle applies to children’s church, if a parents sees overcrowded classes or nursery they may feel uncomfortable about their child getting enough attention.

4. Confusing service or facilites. People generally say no to whatever is confusing.  If they can’t find your sanctuary whey they enter anxiety begins to rise.  Good signs for restrooms and children’s wing definately help also.  How well do you insruct people what do to or inform them what to expect?  A simple announcement of “your kids will be dismissed to children’s church following the song service” can put people at ease.  Feeling relaxed allows people to focus on the spiritual aspects of the service.

5. Neglected facilities or grounds. Ever sold a house?  You fixed things that never bothered you.  Fresh paint for the shutters, trim the bushed and clean the windows make a good first impression.  Well, long time church members may walk by the ripped carpet and not notice it anymore but a new guest will.  Shabby landscaping or run down lobby says “we don’t care that much” and we probably won’t pay much attention to you either.

6. Inconsistent style.  People come to a flamboyant Easter pagent.  There’s a 50 person choir with rented robes, a 45 minute cantada with professional quality musicians, rented lights and scenery.  They come back two weeks later to one lady playing an accordian in an empty gymnasium.  I’m not saying don’t do special events but show people who you really are.

7. Tense or unwelcoming environment.  People need to be greated within the first 1-2 minutes they walk in the door by a smiling, friendly, normal person.  The facility needs to be decorated in a friendly manner.  As far as tension, if there is division, power struggles, or harsh and condemning leadership you can be sure people will run for the exits!

More next time…

He Prepares a Table

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. – Psalm 23:(niv)

God says in the midst of conflict, while you’re under attack, I’ll prepare a place of rest, a place where you can be fed and a place where you can sit with family. To me the Table represents the church. The food is the word of God.

And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of His coming back again is drawing near. – Hebrews 10:25

The desire of the devil is to minimize the importance of church.  To make the Sunday service into something that good to do if you have time.  Experience has taught me that most Christians that aren’t actively involved in a good local church are at least stagnant and not growing, at worst carnal and slowly backsliding.  I’m sure there are exceptions to the rule out there but I haven’t met them.

Galatians 5:13 – For you have been called to live in freedom—not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but freedom to serve one another in love.

Part of why God set us free is so we can serve.  Those that aren’t free don’t serve.  It’s the opposite of the world where those in bondage server their bosses or masters.  We serve because we want to!  Out of gratitude, love and calling.

Don’t be deceived, be a part of a local assembly and use your gift to build up the church.  God bless.

The Morning After

Well Monday mornings are always a down time for me.  I usually have the “holy hangover” from ministering Sunday.  Then Sunday night we had a creative team meeting to discuss upcoming series and Christmas ideas.  So I was especially tired this week, physically, but refreshed spiritually.

It was wodnerful to spend time with the Fedeles at dinner.  Pastor Steve Fedele brought a really good word Sunday and gave very specific prophetic words to individual people.  I was encouraged at the word the Lord spoke to me personally through him regarding me mentoring  men called to ministry.  I have been doing a small group for a while with the goal of activating people into their ministry calling, so it was good confirmation to the direction God is taking me.

As most of you know, we had our Connect Group kick off at the church two Sundays ago.   A great time for all.  I don’t just preach about small group involvement but believe in connecting in groups so strongly that I host one and participate in one myself.

So, on the morning after, Monday morning, I encourage all of us to look at our Christian journey and see are we growing.  If not, what’s probabably missing is the encouragement and accountability a Connect Group brings.  God Bless